Now, I want to talk about Eva; my darling Eva.
I don’t see myself as particularly handsome or charismatic but nevertheless, I find that I have female friends all around me. Mind you,I don’t date them; I might be attracted to them but most of the time I don’t act on the attraction I feel. I can find a way to be their friend (as in the case of Jane), but at the end of the day, I lack the fortitude to take initiative, take charge and dictate what I want from the relationships. The ladies, bless their souls, are usually the ones to initiate something, in cases where something was initiated.
However, for the first time in my life, I met a girl I felt I could go all the way for. A girl I felt I could summon the courage to speak my mind with, tell exactly what I want. But alas, it didn’t go exactly as I wanted.
Eva and I met at Community Development Service – FRSC. Eva is a beautiful girl, with a striking face and figure. What I liked most in her body are her legs. She has ‘bowed legs’, not too curved and not too straight either; which looked very sexy to me. I liked her as soon as I met her and I kept liking her till it developed from like into something deeper and more meaningful; to me, anyway.
She had so many guys around her then, guys who wanted to date her, guys who were ready to buy anything for her, take her anywhere, just to have her. I knew I was no competition for guys like that, poor me, with nothing going for me except maybe the magnetic pull I have for ladies (that’s something at least), what could I hope to offer?
By the time I met Eva, I was the president of my CDS group. We started off as enemies, always snapping at each other but we later got over it and became good friends. As is often the case when you really like someone, you find it difficult to tell them your true feelings; that was exactly what happened with Eva.
I mistakenly thought if I went in as a friend, then it might be easier to grow from friendship into something deeper. I have heard stories of friends and acquaintances that had such beginnings. I hear stories all the time of couples that started off as friends, my case shouldn’t be any different. If only I knew….
It didn’t happen that way at all. The closer we got, the more difficult it was to progress to being more than friends. I became her confidant and she started telling me about other guys, the challenges she had with them, those she should shove and asking me what I thought of this guy and that guy.
At that point, there was no going back. Our relationship was signed, sealed and delivered on a friendship platter.
Don’t be sad for me; I’m still hoping something will develop from there (or should I quit hoping?) Otherwise, my eyes are glued for better opportunities as I write this. Don’t forget the most important part though; I’m still a Christian (as far as I know).
The love I have for God really constrained me, else, I would have ‘ba ile je’(scatter ground). I can’t categorically say I came, saw and conquered but at least I was not fully conquered!
Thanks for reading my story and not judging too harshly. I believe all these are struggles we go through daily as Christians, which we are only able to overcome by His grace. So, let’s keep holding on!
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